Chinua Achebe's short story "Marriage is a Private Affair" details the conflict which arises when a man and a woman from different ethnic groups want to get married. Nnaemeka, an Ibo man, is hesitant to tell his socially conservative father about his impending marriage to Nene, an Ibibio woman.
Nnaemeka's reluctance is correct, and even when he sends his father a picture of the couple's wedding, the father cuts out Nene and sends it back. The marriage is quite the topic of debate and hand-wringing by the Ibo men in the village where Nnaemeka grew up. Even in the more modern city of Lagos, the couple has problems as the Ibo women are slow to acknowledge Nene.
Nevertheless, by all accounts the couple is very happy and the marriage produces two sons who, as soon as they learn about their grandfather, want to see him. This is the news that begins to break down the grandfather's attitude. In the final line of the story he hopes he won't die before he makes up with his son and his wife. Hopefully, he will see the family as soon as possible.
Achebe's stance is that in modern Africa the barriers of tribe vs. tribe and ethnic group vs. ethnic group should end. The old prejudices need to be put away for the sake of domestic tranquility. The grandfather could make a small step toward ending the old cultural biases by accepting his daughter-in-law. He could be an example to the men of his village who still believe in the old customs which have no place in the 20th century.
The father obviously loves his son, so it should not be that difficult for him to open his arms to the woman his son loves and certainly not to his own grandsons. The reader would simply tell the grandfather to put away the old attitudes and embrace the new world. He should show his love unequivocally for his son by seeing the family and giving them his best wishes. He did a good job of raising a productive, open-minded son, so he should definitely have a part in raising his grandsons.
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