Think of incidents or cases you read about in the newspaper, saw on television or incidents that took place in the classroom or an accident you...

One particular incident involves a school resource officer in a South Carolina high school who slammed a student to the ground while in her desk because of disobedience.

With a case like this one, the issues raised speak to some specific needs in our schools.  A 16 year old student was asked to surrender her cell phone by her Math teacher. When she refused after being asked by both the teacher and an administrator, the school resource officer was summoned. A standoff took place, and was resolved when the school resource officer wrestled the child out of her desk and onto the floor.

In this case, the core problem was disobedience. The student disobeyed the rules.  However, it can be argued that one reason she embraced defiance was because she did not feel invested in the school's power structure.   The student did not feel a personal relationship to any of the adult figures.  If she did, there could have been opportunities to defuse the situation in a different manner.  For example, if the Math teacher had talked to the girl privately, away from the larger group, there would have been a less demonstrative display of authority.  If the administrator had cultivated a rapport with the student, they might have been able to talk about the situation outside of the classroom.  A private dialogue might have revealed the root cause of the student's anger.  Finally, if the school resource officer had developed a bond with the student, perhaps she would have left the room with him, as opposed to steadfastly refusing to move from her seat.

In each of the situations, a relationship based on partnership and collaboration could have avoided what took place.  Relationship- driven classroom management can help deescalate tension with students.  It avoids public displays of power because it is predicated on every student having a relationship with the teacher. It is proactive, as opposed to reactive.  Power displays are handled privately, away from public spectacle.  This form of classroom management is based on the teacher asking specific questions such as "Does it help or hurt when I lose my temper with the student?"  When this type of classroom management is embraced by as many adults as possible in a school environment, there is a greater chance at cultivating meaningful rapport.  I believe that such an approach would have helped in this particular situation.